SOBE story

what their eyes see, isn't really me.
i'm not really brianna marie.
most of the times i am only bri.
the girl who is and always has been in pain.sometimes i feel it will never go away.
it can eat a person alive, to have secrets that they lie to them selfs about so that they can forget it.
it can eat a peron alive, to deny and deny what they know is true.
it is in the past, but yet still haunts my present.
a friend of mine said, "you have to many regrets". . . . . .
i simply looked at her an said "you would too."

i'm trying to move away from my past because i am completely happy with my persent
and the people in it.
but it is soo hard to let go of something thats been on your back, in your head, by your side for 4 years now.

damnit i got a head ach.

sooooooo......

soooo, i'm def. taking a chance with this.
idc wat had been done in the past.
the time is now.
and i'm hoping there is change.
i am hoping, the lies, the
duplicates, the flirts, the unknowns, all end here.
and everything starts
at a new.

:)

he is a little strange 
he makes me scratch my head
at times.
he always has me smiling
he never lets me down
he is not ya typical
he's quit sincere
he a dork
and thats ok,
i like him this way.
:)

11.18.09

ummm welll, i dnt really have anything to tlk about. i've been in a almost a perfect mood ever since 11.18.09 ahaha my minds been on cloud 9. and not much has really gotten to me. sooooooooooo
tht bein said, once i've come down some.or when some1 gives me a new and interesting topic i'll proberly have more to post  :)

i used to have my head in the clouds and follow the crowds

i used to have my head in the clouds and follow the crowds, but now i see thts not wats meant for me. u all do wat eachother does. but im no longer apart of yall, im on my own. with my own mind.
with my own style and with my own kinda lets get wild.

i dnt need to grind my behind on no nigga fo his pleasure, what fun is that?
i dnt need to wear heels around the mall to try and look cute
i dnt need to go to every f-n social event, just so i can have my name and face out there, and for what?
i dnt need to be a complete bitch to everyone.
i dnt need to listen to these ridiculously wack rappers, jus b'c everone else do.
i dnt need to run around act ghetto and claim a random state tht im not even from. beacuse
i except were i am.

there's no need for drinks, idc to get "buzzed"
or "saucey"

i dnt need to be up on my "slang"
or need sum random guy to bang
i dnt need half the ppl i kno.
even though, ive come to find
but they may need me.


i may not have A's and B's
and struggle to spell a simply word like "please"

but my mind is right where it needs to be.

why, .......

why, does my heart skip a beat when i look into his eyes :)

sweeter than you.

This is the game we play to lose, Yet and still I choose You

memories of you

i mis you less than i thought i would.
i miss you more than i think i do.
i want you less than i thought i did.
and i love you more than i ever knew.

MARY KATHERINE MEADOWS, age 16

how i fell in love.

his eyes are endless in a deep pool of beauty
and i want to put on my swimsuit and swim around in them.
his voice is as soft as a baby's whisper.
i love every waking moment with him. i also love
the non-waking moments
he is my first, my last, my everything, and my second,
my third, my fourth.
he say's he'll give me the stars, the moon, and the sun.
how about the milky way, and the planets too?
i wonder how he got me to fall in love with him.

JENNIFER HOLMAN, age 17

Blushed

the funniest thing happened to me today,
as i sat in the classroom, in a daydream about him.
the girl sitting across from me asked,
if i was ok, then moments later stated that my eyes shine like i was in love.
ahaha i laughed,"is it possible to be in love with someone who, isnt in with u?"
she gave me a crooked smile, shook her head and said i don't know.
we started to speak of relationships and shady love affairs.
then as the conversation merged from subject to subject.
i hit the topic of him.
as i spoke of him
a smile formed
as i continued to speak of him
i started to giggle
as i seemed to go on forever about him
the girl stated "AW UR BLUSHING!"
i don't blush though...
she handed me her mirror.
ahaha red cheeks had replaced my tan skin.

"well look at that" i said as i smiled at the thought
i was ....BLUSHED

dreaming

dreaming with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part.

They paved paradise and put up a parkin' lot

They paved paradise and put up a parkin' lot

smh today, i went over to the area where i use to live, there used to be trees, trees, trees.

but now. . . . .they're all gone :-/
as we passed the song "big yellow taxi" was playing.
my heart was full of pain when i saw all the trees where gone.
call me a hippie, tree hugger, w/e u want.
but this over building, and ridiculous over population.
needs to stop, before we have nothing left. . . . .nothing :-(
 
 
 
COUNTING CROWS- BIG YELLOW TAXI
 
They paved paradise and put up a parkin' lot

With a pink hotel, a boutique, and a swingin' hot spot
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got till it's gone
They paved paradise and put up a parkin' lot

They took all the trees, and put em in a tree museum
And they charged the people a dollar and a half to see them
No, no, no, don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got till it's gone
They paved paradise, and put up a parkin' lot

Hey farmer, farmer, put away your DDT

I don't care about spots on my apples,
Leave me the birds and the bees - please
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got till it's gone
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot
Hey now, they've paved paradise to put up a parking lot
Why not?

Listen, late last night, I heard the screen door swing,

And a big yellow taxi took my girl away
Now don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got till it's gone
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot
Hey now now, don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got till it's gone
They paved paradise to put up a parking lot
Why not, they paved paradise
They put up a parking lot
Hey hey hey, paved paradise and put up a parking lot

I don't wanna give it Why you wanna give it Why you wanna givin it all away
Hey, hey, hey
Now you wanna give it I should wanna give it
Cuz you're givin it all away, no no

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTC6m-a3U9w

Amazing.

Amazing
is how i feel
my feelings are strange not somethign ive ever felt.
i feel like dancing around, and reaching for the sky. i havent stopped smiling yet.
this feeling is unbelieveable.and weird
i know that happpiness only last in the moment of time. but i want this  . . .whatever it is. to last more than
that. sooo much more.:)

sooo i over heard some people talking about. . . . .

sooo i over heard some people talking about, a man who hated all races but his own which was white.
they said he threw out all of these ridiculous steriotypes. about blacks, hispanics, asian, arib. ect.as i listened in i heard one the females state that she herself hated whites. but she was multiracial.  . . . it confused me to an extreme. i don't understand how u could hate anyone, for the color of there skin, i also don't understand how u could have hate towards ur own! that makes no sense, that means u r hating who u r!
i'm not sure maybe it is just me. maybe i'm the odd ball.
but lord i worry, for those who hate others because all they see is color, and features. :/
when will people ever see personalilty, and not worry about back ground.
why is this world full of hate towards, eachother, not just race but also againt sexual interest, religon, and territory, does noone understand, that we are all in the same place, we all see the same thing, and feel the wind  aginst our skins. does noone realize that we all breath, think, love, smile, frown and laugh.. . . . i . . .
i just wish all the hate towards one another would fade away. but :/ i guess thats asking for to much.

-bri

you make me feel

you make me feel, like everything is goin right. like i can go to sleep tonight.
And wake up to ur voice, down blankets and pillows. :)
-gabe bondoc

i cherish every . . .

i cherish every talk, txt, moment i have with him.
he isnt not like your typical guy, sooo different and fasinating.
i never thought i'd ever feel this way, about anyone or even thinkin about him the way i do.
never have i ever felt this way bout any of the past.
he might be the one that brakes my heart but god im willing to take that chance.
i have guys lined up (no cocky stuff) and as sweet and promising as some of them seem.
i cnt get him off my mind.and turn down every offer.
no one is even remotely comparing to him. at all.
ha, when we 1st meet, never did i see this coming, never, but i'm glad it did. :)

this song :)

i just want u - aj rafeal

Theres something I gotta say to you

ohhh
But im so afraid of what you'll doo
Ohhhh
I'll just admit this to you now
That Im stuck on you like glue somehow
ohhhh
Don't wanna feel so cold inside
I wanna feel the warmth that I feel with you all the time
Surrounding me just like the wind
Cuz youre the one who makes me sing
Help me find myself like how I found you
ohhh
I need you so we can live happily too
ohhh
I just want you x2
I wanna go out with you tonight
A picnic with candlelight
I might just hold you tight
Tell me you wanna be my queen
If not its ok a princess seems just my type I promise I'll be there tonight
I wanna keep you warm in winter's white
And in the summer walks on beach sound nice
I need you now to talk with on the phone for hours at a time
Baby I just want you to be mine all mine
Help me find myself like how I found you oh
I need you so we can live happily too ohh
I just want you
i wanna be ur valentine ur Christmas wish ur pickup line
I wanna be the one who knows about ur friends and foes and the tv shows you love
Look above the stars spell out ur name with an exclamation point at the end of the day ur the one who makes me say
Help me find myself like how I found you oh
I need you so we can live happily too ohh
I just want you x4

somethings come over me

Ernie halter - somethings come over me. :)

in a few years i see myslef on my own

in 7 years i see myslef on my own in my own place.
i plan to have a few tatts and maybe some peircings.
living in a little house, with paints, books, and fabric all over the place :)
def. have my two cats tally and louie with me haha
possibly living with someone. . . .no, i take that back, i will be living with someone, im to scared to live alone
hahaha, seen to many scary movies for that.
but i want to be near a beach. everyone knows the beach is where im happiest, the beach is my safe haven.
i want to be in colloge studying my inturp. degree
and maybe studying fashion :)

hopefully would be settelin down by then also, soo around 24 or 25 maybe yeeeaah i wanna start a fam and what not. . . . . thats my dream of how my life will be
i only hope it will.

:)

I want to see the world!

i want to see the world :)
i want to see all the beachs and
be inroduced to every belief
i want to help those noone even knows are they're
i want to climb to the highest mountain and yell out my victory
i want to to see every skin color and hear every language.
i want to see the moon in every angle and all the stars i havent seen.

who's with me?
haha :)

love is such a silly thing

love is such a silly thing!
it toys with your emotions, makes you listen to songs about it.
makes you think it's something it's not.
hahaha
it can hurt but once you look it in its eyes and dig into its soul . . . . . all u can do is laugh
 b'c it is lonely and scared constantly
but once you and it become one you can sit back and smile :)

i should go now :(

:( im sorry i even crossed his way,. . . . maybe he would be happier. . . . maybe i should just ignore his text, phone calls, comments, and messages, maybe if i leave his lyfe now, it will all get better for him. maybe him and his girl will be more in love and he will smile more. . . . .  i've been selfish in this game of love, wanting him and not thinking of hurting him. maybe its time for me to go now. and just take the pain instead of him.
maybe i should go now and never look back again. maybe if i go now.i'll never see him again and he wont see me.

<3 problem

So i have a history of heart problems, like, i could be sitting down watchin t.v chillin and my heart will start to race and it feels like it is about to bust out my chest, and like i can't breath. i could be sitting talkin on the phone and it would start, it is a horrible feeling, scary too, they had put me on a heart monitor twice. i just couldnt seem to catch any of the episodes. but im use to it now. it happens every once an a while not an everyday thing. it actually has been absent for a while.
but recently it has started again, it doesnt feel the same, not the same hurt as before, it's like my body starts to become weak, head starts to spin and my hearts yells for something.

as i write this i can feel my heart racing inside of my chest it hurts, it's been doing this for a while now. this is the second time today. 5th time this week.

i only wish i know what was wrong
and that someone had a cure

love can turn a stone into a god an a angle into stone




this is one of my favorite movies of all time. after moulin rouge haha